Having lived a travelling lifestyle for the past 36 years, I’ve seen a lot and learnt a lot. Not only about the world but also about myself. When I met Mr ESLT nearly 13 years ago I knew that I’d met the perfect companion to live my life alongside. For 12 years we lived a pretty carefree life. We did what we wanted when we wanted. That included hopping on planes and exploring the world whenever the urge took us. Which was often. However eight weeks ago we became parents and life has certainly changed. For us, we opted for the adoption route. Our two little girls are wonderful. We are extremely lucky. They sleep between 10 and 12 hours a night and eat almost anything you put in front of them. Compared to some stories we hear about sleepless nights and fussy eaters, we have nothing to complain about.
However, not everything has been plain sailing. Most people who have babies, have them from the day they’re born. Therefore, they see them grow and learn and influence and encourage them to do so. But for us, that was not the case. Our girls are walking (both) and talking (Junior ESLT) tiny humans with their own personalities, likes and dislikes. This has meant that we’ve had to amend our lives possibly more than if we’d had a biological child or children. Obviously, I don’t have the lasting physical tiring effects on my body that I would if I’d carried a baby, which again has made things easier, but the whole process and especially the early days when they first moved in were emotionally draining. I was so run down I had a sore throat, earache, runny nose, loss of appetite and could barely keep my eyes open past 8 pm.
We’ve Found our Groove
Things have of course now calmed down and we’ve found our groove. Don’t get me wrong some days are better than others, but on the whole, we’re doing well. There are certainly more laughs than tears which we are taking as a personal win and a great leap forward from the initial days the girls moved in. Considering the chaotic life they came from they have very few medical or emotional needs, which in the adoption world is quite unusual. If any do rear their heads as time goes on, we will, of course, support them the best way we can. So what things have I learnt and how has it impacted on my travelling lifestyle since becoming a mum? There are too many to list. Kids truly are life-changing. However here are my top 5, which I’m sure if you are a parent (biological/adoptive/step etc) you would agree with.
There Is A New Leading Character in Your Story
All of a sudden someone is completely dependant on you. This for me is thoroughly terrifying. My children are robust yet I panic every day that I’m going to break them. I can’t even imagine what I’d be like with a newborn. Prior to the kids, the only person I had to worry about was myself. But when you have kids you have to ensure all their needs are met first, which is absolutely fine. Everything is about them after all. This includes cash. Now it’s about ensuring that they have everything they need – clothes, toys, nappies and also investing in strollers is an essential tool, especially for Mini ESLT in order for us to take our daily jaunts to run errands.
It’s also made me think about the future. I envisage being there for all their big moments – graduations, weddings, births (or adoptions) of their own children. However, for me the thoughts are bittersweet. My own beautiful and extremely wonderful mum wasn’t there for any of mine. No beaming photos standing with me in my cap and gown, no excitement as I got ready to walk down the aisle and no proud smiles as she watches her grandchildren playing happily in the garden.
Thinking of The Future
My mum passed away from the Big C when I was 23 years old, she was only 46. She had a long protracted illness which gave her time to get her affairs in order, especially monetary ones. Unfortunately, not everyone has the opportunity. Therefore it’s made me think about speaking to a Money Expert about being able to provide for my kids if I’m not around by having at least a life insurance policy in place and setting up specific accounts for them if possible.
I’m sure it’s not something we want to dwell on. However having lost a parent at a relatively young age, I want to ensure that my children have something to fall back on if I’m physically not around to support them. Money is not everything but it certainly helps when times are hard or if they want to do something, whether it be to buy a car, put a deposit down on a house or to travel the world and live a travelling lifestyle for themselves. So whatever I can do now to help them in the future is something I’m more than willing to do.
Do Not Wake A Sleeping Baby
As I mentioned before my kids sleep between 10 and 12 hours a day which is, on a day to day basis, fantastic. Once they are down, they are down and Mr ESLT can tidy away the day’s carnage, whack something in the slow cooker for the next day’s tea and spend some time together. However, it does hinder us if we want to go places early. Recently we had tickets booked for Alton Towers, which is a two-hour drive away. We had grand intentions of getting there early to make the most of the day. Of course, this was the day the kids decided to sleep in until 8 am.
Now one thing I have learnt is that you never wake a sleeping baby. They go from 0-100 on the crabby scale in seconds and no-one needs that in their lives. This means gone (for the time being) are the 3 am alarms to grab a cheap Ryanair flight for a quick European city break which can be the norm when you live a travelling lifestyle. Also, Mini ESLT enjoys a 2-3 hour afternoon nap daily. Therefore our plans always need to factor that in which can be restrictive when it comes to travelling, days out etc.
Food, Glorious Food
Again, as I previously mentioned my kids are not fussy eaters, they have no intolerances or allergies, they do not follow any specific diet (apart from a healthy one of course). Yet still, every mealtime needs a lot of thinking about and consideration. If I’m not meal planning, I’m on-line food shopping and if I’m not on-line food shopping, I’m cooking. I want my children to grow up strong and healthy and it’s been proven that their formative years is the time to instil healthy eating habits in them.
Gone are the days of grabbing something (probably unhealthy) from the nearest Tesco Express on the way home from the office. It also means I have to be prepared and pack lunches wherever we go. This is because we’ve found that even at some kids attractions, healthy options are not always available. Don’t get me wrong, the kids are allowed treats but that’s what they are – treats, not the norm. Also nowadays snacks are key. When the kids turn into grizzly hangery demons, having a box or two of raisins handy ready to chuck at them is vital.
Gone Are The Days of Hand Luggage Only
I used to be able to pack for a 4-day break in less than 20 minutes when I lived a travelling lifestyle. It was a fact I was proud of. I simply used to lob what I thought I needed in my bag. Providing I had my passport, purse and pants, I was good to go. Now I cannot leave the house, even if it’s just to head to the corner shop without triple-checking I have everything I could ever possibly need for any potential situation. Nappies, wipes, spare clothes for both children, juice, snacks (as mentioned before), toys, books, the kitchen sink.
I’m not going to lie, I am dreading a three-day break at Mr ESLT’s Mum’s house, it’s only in Wales where she has every major highstreet shop imaginable on her doorstep, just in case I forget a favourite teddy or t-shirt. Therefore, even if my children could travel (which they cannot at the moment as they do not have passports) I don’t think we would anyway. Add into the mix pushchairs and other kid’s travel essentials and it just becomes too much like hard work. Next year when they are both a year older and need less stuff, I think it will be completely doable. In fact, there will be no stopping us. I’ll be living the travelling lifestyle again before I know it. Just this time it will be with the munchkins in tow.
- Collaborative Post
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