A little life update and one we have been trying to write for the past week but to no avail. Time is no longer our own you see. Our time belongs to two beautiful little munchkins…..and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
I sit here writing this as junior ESLT creates masterpieces (sausages and snakes I am informed) out of PlayDoh and Mini ESLT snoozes away (dreaming of Peppa Pig and yoghurt I’m sure) in her cot upstairs. My eyes dart from my laptop screen to the craft table to the baby monitor repeatedly. After just over a week I think the realisation has hit – I’m a mummy.
Introductions
Following Matching Panel and once we had received approval, the next step was to be formally introduced to the children as mummy and daddy. The foster carers together with the social workers did this with them. We produced photo books showing our house, our cars, their bedrooms etc. It was to help them understand where they would be moving too.
Following that just under two weeks of intense introductions commenced. Basically, we saw the children every day (barring one (very much needed) rest day in the middle). The first half of the introductions were at the foster carers house, the second half at ours.
The night before the first day of intros, the nerves kicked in. What if they genuinely didn’t like us? Or didn’t want us to be their mummy and daddy? Both were real possibilities. However, a lot of great work had been done with them and from the second we walked through the front door, Junior ESLT was calling us mummy and daddy – our hearts melted.
Introductions went well. We loved spending time with the girls, learning about their routine and what they do, and more importantly, don’t like. Playing, laughing and dealing with tantrums (of which they were few) and mixed emotions – all the things we had been warned and subsequently trained on. We loved these liitle girls already and missed them when we were apart.
Move In
It was tiring, emotionally more than physically. However by the end of the introductions when we would drive to the foster carers house, pick the girls up, drive back to our house and then take them back to the foster carers house at the end of the day and then drive home (3 hours all together each day), the physical tiredness kicked in too. But in reality, we would have driven to the ends of the earth for these kids. So looking back now 3 hours was nothing really.
By the time move-in day arrived, we were more than ready. However, both Mr ESLT had been struck down with the lurgy. We ached, we were tired, we had sore throats, dry coughs, headaches and runny noses – great! We had been warned this could happen because of the intensity of the introductions and the emotional rollercoaster of worry and often self-doubt.
On move-in day we picked the girls up from the foster carers for the last time. We drove home, we opened the front door and we started our lives as a family of four. We watched them and played with them, we fed them and bathed them, we read stories, we put them to bed and then we breathed a massive sigh of relief – we’d done it – one full day – we’d survived and more importantly, so had they.
That evening instead of kicking back with a glass of wine and trash TV, we were glued to the baby monitor – why hadn’t they moved? Were they breathing? Should we go and check? Needless to say, they both slept like babies from 7.30pm until 6.30am the next day (and have done every night since). We on the other had managed a combined total of around 47 minutes.
Daily Life
The girls have been with us now for 10 days, 10 whole days, yet it feels like they have been here forever. We have a great daily routine which is possible because we are both off work. I have 12 months off work (on a great adoption leave package) and Mr ESLT has 6 weeks off (only one week of which is reduced to statutory paternity pay) which is awesome and we are extremely lucky that we are able to do this. Especially as most people only get two weeks off, at most.
We are able to do everything together with the girls, which is great for them as they get us both all of the time. But it is also good for us as it means the pressure is not simply on one person. How this plays out when Mr ESLT goes back to work we don’t know yet. But for the moment we are loving not having to worry about having to juggle everything individually, we are working as a team. One will play/feed/bathe the kids while the other fills the dishwasher, hangs the washing out, makes bed etc. It also makes trips to the park and soft play centre a whole lot easier.
It is odd when we are out with them. Especially when it comes to the supermarket or eating out. This is because you will often see us waving things in front of Junior ESLT asking ‘ do you like this?’ which is an odd question for a parent to be asking their child, but when the said child has only been with them a short time, it’s a necessity. Our children look reasonably like us. Therefore we do not get the looks or sidewards glances we may if we were asking the same questions to children who didn’t.
Our New Adventure
Following people on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram is currently appeasing our wanderlust. However, it won’t be long until the urge is too strong. The children do not have passports and it is now too late/too difficult to obtain ones in their birth names. Therefore, we must wait until the adoption order is applied for and granted. This will probably towards the end of the year or even the beginning of 2020.
Once we have them, there will be no stopping us. We already have some lovely plans for next year in the pipeline including Abu Dhabi, Paris and Disneyland Paris, possibly an extended family holiday to Portugal and maybe even a trip to Lapland to meet Father Christmas if we can find a good deal for next winter.
In the meantime, we will be exploring Britain and lots of the wonderful things it has to offer. The lovely and very generous folks at work bought us an annual Historic Houses family pass when I left on adoption leave, meaning we can visit a number of great places over the next 12 months. And as we live close to the seaside, we have fingers crossed for a nice summer so we can visit regularly and let the girls run free.
10 days down…….a lifetime ahead!
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